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Kafkaesque

by Baylies Band

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1.
Head-On Collision 03:56
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2.
FAQ 04:44
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3.
Macauley Culkin Stole My Phone 04:38
lyrics
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I was sleeping in a dream And i got a call from god in my dream He said, "Baylies Band?" and I said, "Yes." He said, "You can open up for Macaulay Culkin and the Pizza Underground. And all you have to do is provide 27 pizzas for the band to give to their fans that they love so much." And in my dream, in my sleep, on the telephone, I told the omnipresent voice, "Yes, we would love to open for Mr Macaulay Culkin of the Home Alone series and My Girl." And it was all good until I noticed my phone was missing. I went something like this. Macaulay Culkin Stole My Phone Macaulay Culkin Stole My Phone ha ha ha ha ha But I'll tell ya I wasn't laughing then. Oh no. I can't be in two places at one time cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha I can rub my head and pat my belly. too. I can drive my car and chew gum, too. Macaulay Culkin Stole My Phone Macaulay Culkin Stole My Phone Goddamn! You think that's funny, Macaulay Culkin? He might be laughing now but I'll tell ya The next time I see Macaulay Culkin walking down the streets of Olneyville in Providence I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do. Next time I see Macaulay Culkin I'm gonna pick him up over my head like the time I picked up that piano. And I'm gonna throw him down the stairs. I'm gonna pick him up over my head like the time I picked up that piano. And I'm gonna throw him down the stairs. I'm gonna pick him up over my head like the time I picked up that piano. And I'm gonna throw him down the stairs. Aah! That piano's heavy! Macaulay Culkin Stole My Phone Macaulay Culkin Stole My Phone
4.
Warriors 04:59
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5.
Shaving My Balloon 09:34
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6.
Iceland 08:20
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about

Written and arranged by Baylies Band in Providence, RI and New Bedford, MA.

Vinyl release c/o Wake Up and Rage Records.
lyrics:
SHAVING MY BALLOON:
I choose to brave the displeasure of the crowd
having fun is not allowed
on the precipice of hubris
shaving my balloon
be a milestone not a gravestone
I'm a harm reduction model
I'm not old, I'm well preserved
shaving my balloon.
Been to hell and back again
like a homeless mannequin
put a bandaid on a shark bite
shaving my balloon
now I'm narrating my own nightmare
facing ugly truths about myself
self indictment of stunted social development
shaving my balloon.
There's no room for time and space
people die you can't replace
death and birth are not reversed
I die each time that I rehearse
lived these lives a thousand times
and cried right through a dead man's eyes
nurtured serpent at the breast
now I'm feeling Kafkaesque, Kafkaesque, Kafkaesque.
Everything is left to chance
everything's interpretive dance
everything is a dream sequence
shaving my balloon
I've lost all my infatuations
build a statue to my limitations
and then I break it down
shaving my balloon.
When others ask me why
I just say with a smile on my face
please go fuck yourself.
FAQ:
Where is the key- to the mops
where is that key- to the mops?
key to the mops (x 16)
Frequently asked questions
of a personal nature
will not fly
in the corporate world
in this day and age.
Who am I?
What's my name?
What company do I work for?
Frequently asked questions
of a personal nature
will not fly
in the corporate world
in this day and age.
But the most pressing question
they ask me this a lot a school
and this is what they ask me
why aren't you wearing any pants?
Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it.
Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it.
Stop it!
HEAD ON COLLISION:
Head on collision
at the intersection
of ideas
information highway.
WARRIORS:
Warriors, come out to play (x 4)
It was the warriors, they shot Cyrus
now, what you say?
they shot Cyrus
that's what I thought you said
it was the warriors
who asked you, huh
that's what I'm talkin' about
warriors, come out to play (x 4)
Warriors!
There are 700,642 and a half
gang members in Providence, Rhode Island
there are only 12 police officers in the entire city
now if all the miscreants, musicians, pickpockets, pimps, thieves, and reprobates band together
there is no way the man can keep us down
now, can you dig that sucka
Warriors, come out to play (x 4)
Warriors!
MACAULEY CULKIN STOLE MY PHONE:
I was sleeping in a dream
and I got a call from God in my dream
he said "Baylies Band", I said "yes"
you can open up for Macaulay Culkin and the Pizza Underground
all you have to do is provide 27 pizzas to give to their fans that they love so much
and in my dream, in my sleep, on the telephone
I told the omnipresent voice
yes, we would love to open for mister Macaulay Culkin of the Home Alone series and My Girl
and it was all good 'til I noticed my phone was missing
it went something like this
Macaulay Culkin stole my phone (x 2)
ha ha ha ha
But I tell ya I wasn't laughing then, oh no
I can't be in two places at one time ( x 2)
cha cha cha ( x 8)
I can rub my head and pat my belly at the same time
I can drive my car and chew gum, too
Macaulay Culkin stole my phone ( x 2)
God damn!
You think that's funny Macaulay Culkin
he might be laughing now but I'll tell ya
the next time I see Macaulay Culkin
walking down the streets in Olneyville, in Providence
I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna pick up Macaulay Culkin like the the time I picked up that piano over my head and I'm gonna throw him down the stairs.
Ahhh
that piano's heavy.
Macaulay Culkiin stole my phone ( x 2)
ICELAND:
I want to marry the Prime Minister of Icland
I hope her husband don't punch me in the neck
Oh, hi Miss Prime Minister of Iceland
what are you doing here?
You know, in Iceland.
What a co- ink- ee- dink!
I was just kinda wondering since wer'e both in the ladies room together, but anyway
what's the average rainfall, uh huh
what's your per capita income
well I don't really care anyway
well, I'm getting a little ahead of myself
my name is Eric and I'm a pisces
I like short walks on the beach
I like stuffed Snoopys and Yogurt City
perhaps your'e wondering why I'm here
well, I'll tell ya
I want to marry the Prime Minister of Iceland
I hope her husband don't punch me in the neck.
baby, what the heck!
international baby (x 4)
baby ( x 16)
ka baby (x 4)
you know what time it is?
put on your jammies, it's time to go home ( x 4)
I want to marry the Prime Minister of Iceland
I hope her husband don't punch me in the neck.
there's a baby on my shoulder
and my day is getting better
I'm the goodest stinkin' baby
and stuffs like that
I want to marry the Prime Minister of Iceland
I hope her husband don't punch me in the neck

credits

released February 14, 2019

Eric Baylies - foreground vocals, synth, and theremin
Adrian Greenbaum - lead guitar
Chris Devona - keys on #1, #2, #3, #5. guitar on #6.
Tom Maloney - Bass
Chris Faulkner - drums
KC Camacho - guitar, unspecified
KC Goodwin - celebrity guitar on "Shaving My Balloon"

Recording & mixing - Chris Devona @ chrisdevona.com
Mastering & lacquers - Carl Saff @ saffmastering.com
Front cover artwork - Carl Dunn
Back cover artwork - KC Camacho

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Baylies Band Providence, Rhode Island

A genre-fluid psychedelic improv dance experience.
Acts we've shared the stage with: Macauley Culkin's Pizza Underground, Lightning Bolt, 6 Finger Satellite, Arab On Radar, OSS, Chris Corsano, That 1 Guy, Godsmack, Staind, Marc Rebillet and Ralph Nader. Eric toured w pere ubu n played w wire, shellac n messthetics ( half fugazi) in 5 yrs playing in MINIBEAST w pete of mission of burma ... more

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